Going Out With Merity / Short Stories

Going out with Merity: 1

Going out with Merity Merity scratched her temple, the tip of her nose, and her left butt cheek before responding to Gordan. He stared at her intensely, watching her scratch all three areas and standing so tense Merity thought his eyeballs might pop out like a pug. She wondered if she’d push his eyes back in or if she’d just stand horrified and frozen. She pursed her lips and nodded, settling on the latter.

“Why are you nodding?” Gordan asked, furling his upper lip as he waited for her to respond.

She continued to bob her head as though Pat Benetar was playing in the background. Smiling inside, she wanted to see what Gordan would turn in to next, now looking like a pug-man sitting on a toilet taking the number two to brown town. All that furling going on with his upper lip. And those eyes.

“Does it hurt?” she asked.

“Does what hurt?”

Merity, still nodding, continued on as though he hadn’t said a word.

“Why don’t you,” she said, pausing to poke him with her pointer finger right between the eyes. “Just get,” she said, pausing again and poking before abandoning all forms of proper communication. Leaning in to Gordan’s face as slow as molasses, trying to mimic his protruding eyeballs, she hovered an inch away from his face. He didn’t budge. Now on her tippy toes, she could see eye to eye with Gordon who began to roll his protruding eyes while Merity studied how secure they actually were.

“I think we’ll be fine, Gordie,” she said in a rodeo voice, backing down and referring to his eyeballs. “I won’t be touching your gooey baby blues tonight.”

“Merity,” Gordon pleaded, letting the tension fall from his face. “Could you please just answer the woman’s question.”

They both turned towards the counter where a dark-haired sixteen year old stood with a massive bag of popcorn, chomping on gum with her mouth open, and watching the two of them as though time weren’t passing at all. She looked equal parts disinterested and… who are we kidding?  She did not give even on shit.

“Butter?” she said. Repeated, actually.

Merity grabbed the popcorn from her and added, in a British accent, “No thank you corporal. Now we shan’t be late for the costume drama!” Little flecks of yellow corn trailed behind Merity as she marched into the movie theatre and disappeared. Gordan stood at the cash watching as she went before turning back to the gum chomping minor. “Debit, please.”


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